broadwaytheanimatedseries:

greymantledlady:

holmesianscholar:

jukeboxemcsa:

optimysticals:

timemachineyeah:

saywhatjessie:

tattooedsiren:

gvorgeblagden:

batcii:

how did jk manage to write ootp and not come to the conclusion that the only career w any true meaning for harry james potter was as a goddamn professor at hogwarts like how do u write the da scenes and say “nah he’d want to be a wizard cop”

#just let him dress in warm sweaters and have tea with neville in the staff room and help first years #harry james potter as hogwarts longest serving defense against the dark arts teacher fucking fight me (@batcii)

#but it would be so perfect??? #bc it would help normalize his life so much #like there would just be this generation of kids who are like #‘ugh who cares that he killed the dark lord he gAVE US HOMEWORK OVER BREAK’ #like the beginning of every year there would be the new first years who would freak out a little #but then it would calm down #and most of the students would literally forget #until like clockwork the fifth years would have their history of magic class on the second war #and they’d all show up to DADA looking a little awestruck and everyone would be extra quiet #and harry would give this kind of annoyed sigh—except it’s fake bc he TOTALLY knew this was coming #bc binns is a bro and he totally gives him a heads up every year #and harry wouldn’t have any lesson plans for the day and instead he would just sit at the front of the room and answer everyone’s questions #but otherwise everyone would just be like ‘professor potter!! i can’t get my patronus to work! help me!’ #and like they’d go home at the end of the year or for break and their parents—who ARE still starstruck by harry james potter #would pester their kids with questions#and the kids would just be like ‘merlin i don’t know?? potter’s such a huge dork you should hear him talk about proper wand movements’ #but they would all love him #and he would feel safe and normal and utterly accepted #AND I NEED THIS IN MY LIFE (via @cinematicnomad)

Not to mention it would be an ultimate Fuck You to Voldemort, who put a curse on the teaching position in the first place.

Like, Jo, I don’t want to tell you how to do your job, but COME ON

I already queued this but also, you do this, but still have Ginny become a famous Quidditch player. Imagine the first time Harry gets called “Ginny’s husband” before “the boy who lived” or “the chosen one.” Imagine how fucking pleased he’d be.

Imagine the first time a student comes up to him looking starry-eyed and Harry’s thinking “Oh no” because he doesn’t want to talk about Voldemort or the war but instead this little eleven year old is like “ARE YOU REALLY MARRIED TO WEASLEY FROM THE HOLLYHEAD HARPIES???!?? WHAT’S SHE LIKE?” and he’s like “oh thank god” because he could talk about Ginny all day. 

Yes. Good.

Actually, all three of them should have become professors. Hermione would have become Headmistress, of course–youngest Headmistress of Hogwarts ever, and the only one willing to turn the portraits of her predecessors to the wall if they gave her too much lip about her efforts to modernize the curriculum. (She probably started as Transfiguration professor after McGonagall became Headmistress, but it wouldn’t surprise me if McGonagall was grooming her for the Headmistress job all along.)

And Ron took over as flying instructor for Professor Hooch; everyone thinks he’s an easy A because he’s so mellow and silly and hands out candy for good performances and his brother and sister sometimes visit the class to show off some of their old Quidditch moves and give away Wizard Wheezes to the best fliers, and it’s not until they talk to someone else from a different school or era that they realize that flying is actually really difficult to learn and Ron just found ways to slip all the teaching in under the fun so that they didn’t even notice. Things that seemed like silly tricks or goofy jokes turned out to be mnemonics for complex maneuvers, and of course nobody ever wanted to skip a class under his tutelage.

thisTHIS

Okay all other canon epilogues can go home, this is the best.

Yoooooooo gimmie

letshidebodies:

Can we all take a moment for Molly Weasley who knew her family so fucking well, she had “prison” as one of the options on her clock that told her where everyone was.

boku-no-hero-cuties-sasunaru:

jammeke:

susiephone:

• it is a harry potter fanfic from like 2009, 160k words, 50 chapters
• basically, adult Harry accidentally goes back in time and wakes up on his 11th birthday again, but with all his memories of the future intact
• (the way he travels back makes no sense whatsoever but it doesn’t really matter)
• harry decides upon 3 goals:
• fuck up as much shit as possible
• make a shitload of money
• save some lives or whatever
• it is
• H I L A R I O U S
• his go-to explanation for how he knows what’s going to happen?
• he has a psychic scar
• (hermione is SO PISSED about this)
• (neville’s like “either he’s psychic, or he’s the greatest conman alive”)
• everyone just sort of assumes harry’s insane and he doesn’t do much to dispute this
• harry also decides to make it his mission in life to LOSE the house cup every year
• “snape is my sole ally”
• he also goes out of his way to befriend neville, ginny, and luna earlier this time, so they’re part of the gang throughout and it’s great
• even draco is a friend!
• (kind of)
• (when harry’s not spreading a rumor that draco’s the lovechild of narcissa and snape, anyway)
• harry’s motivation for everything he does in this story is basically, “oh, this will be hilarious”
• either that or, “it’s probably a tax deductible”
• because the way lockhart is written in this story is also amazing and harry ends up teaming up with him to merchandise The Boy Who Lived so he can have cash to burn
• (so he gets a LOT of shit done via bribes)
• it gets to the point where harry is able to convince everyone that he’s not the heir of slytherin…. because if he was, he’d have found a way to make money off of it
• and everyone’s like “yeah ok that checks out”
• in this timeline, neville’s boggart isn’t snape…. it’s harry as the minister of magic
• harry also decides to make sure cedric lives by quizzing him constantly on what to do if he ends up in a graveyard
• harry: by the way, that reminds me – cedric. graveyard.
• cedric, not even really listening: run like hell.
• the sheer magnitude to which harry does not give a fuck in this timeline is truly awe-inspiring
• he mouths off to everyone, and i mean everyone. lockhart, snape, the dursleys, malfoy, friggin’ voldemort
• everyone is like “what… what the fuck, harry”
• (though by the end of first year it’s more like “… *deep sigh* … fine.
• snape is so angry
• it’s fucking hysterical and just about everyone ends up better off
• here’s the link
• thank me later

Okay, I know I’m not a Harry Potter blog, but I’ve heard this fic is the greatest thing in existence and now I have to read it

whyisthisfrenchguymasturbating:

accio-shitpost:

like what was molly’s thought process when she added ‘mortal peril’ to the clock of where all the weasleys were

she knew her sons were dumb bastards