tearlessrain:

I’m going to start making up obnoxiously stupid answers every time someone tells me how young I look

“I’m actually a past version of myself, I had to time travel forward and kill the original because he became a juggalo”

“a witch cursed me on my seventeenth birthday and now I can only appear as my true age if someone kisses me, then she gave me this nose to make sure that wouldn’t happen” 

“I’m two kids stacked on top of each other, I just wanted to see an R rated movie but things got way out of hand”

“yeah I had to stop a supervillain from flooding the water supply with a
de-aging serum because it would have killed all the babies, so I just…
ate all of it”

“I’m harboring the soul of an egyptian pharaoh who looks exactly like me but like a foot taller and way sexier”

“I was supposed to be a small nerdy sidekick but god forgot to assign me a protagonist to follow around so I’m just doin my thing”

wastingmytimern:

bulbasaur-propaganda:

Real talk, Bulbasaur would be the best pet ever if it was real, let me list you some reasons of why:

  • Sleep Powder when you can’t sleep
  • Sweet Scent when you are tired or anxious
  • Vines to reach far things or lift stuff or swing like Spiderman
image
  • Razor Leaf to cut things or gardening
  • Solar Beam would be like a WMD threat to your enemies
image
  • Bulbasaur can take care of other animals
image
  • Doesn’t need food as long there’s sun, so you don’t worry about him.
  • Nature control
image
  • Rules over other creatures like a real dinosaur
image
  • It never dies of hunger and its speed doubles under the sun, so you got a scary plant dinosaur in day time
  • Won’t flood your home and mess stuff or burn it down, it’s calm and smart.
  • evolves to a badass beast
  • He’s too freaking strong
image
  • up for hugs
image
  • He’s one of most loyal Pokemon ever
image
  • He can dance
image

baby boy.. baby.,