penny-anna:

In the Shire, ‘you’re not invited to my birthday party anymore’ is a devastating slight regardless of the age of the target

Frodo knows perfectly well that this is not the case anywhere else but continues to use it on non-hobbits due to its power to disorient & bewilder

bramblepatch:

garashirs:

garashirs:

honestly the funniest thing about the lord of the rings is how gandalf is literally a minor god sent to middle-earth by The Big Man Himself and yet literally nobody apart from the elves seems to recognise this or take him seriously

like yeah gandalf is pretty grumpy most of the time but how would YOU
feel if you were the fantasy equivalent of an angel and a bunch of
people who only come up to your knee were just like “oh fuck it’s that
spooky old wizard” every time you showed up for a friend’s birthday
party

I mean to be fair, he seems to actively enjoy the hobbits’ complete lack of awe, because what Gandalf loves most about hobbits is that they as a culture are 1000% unimpressed by any of the mythic-scale bullshit constantly going on right outside their borders. The thing Gandalf loves second-most about hobbits is their weed.

What gets on his nerves is the rest of the free peoples of middle earth, for whom he is constantly busting his ass and who consistently respond to his attempts to help with “why don’t you ever have any good news?” and also who don’t offer him any weed.

penny-anna:

penny-anna:

Legolas pretty quickly gets in the habit of venting about his travelling companions in Elvish, so long as Gandalf & Aragorn aren’t in earshot they’ll never know right?

Then about a week into their journey like

Legolas: *in Elvish, for approximately the 20th time* ugh fucking hobbits, so annoying

Frodo: *also in Elvish, deadpan* yeah we’re the worst

Legolas:

~*~earlier~*~

Legolas: ugh fucking hobbits

Merry: Frodo what’d he say

Frodo: I’m not sure he speaks a weird dialect but I think he’s insulting us. I should tell him I can understand Elvish

Merry: I mean you could do that but consider

Merry: you can only tell him ONCE

Frodo: Merry. You’re absolutely right. I’ll wait.