crossroadswrite:

shit victor nikiforov says after he marries yuuri

• “hi, i’m yuuri’s husband, victor” instead of “hi, i’m victor nikiforov”
• “you have to formally adopt makkachin now that we’re married”
• “should we hyphenated makkachin’s last name so everyone knows he’s your son too when you pick him up from doggy day care”
• “as your husband…” as an excuse to basically anything
• “as your husband i have bought you an entire new wardrobe”
• “as your husband and someone who cares deeply about your health i’m ritualistically burning this tie”
• “as your husband i think i get a say on wether locker room sex should be a ‘no no’ or not”
• “no i will not hurry up, beauty takes time, yuuri. i’m your prettiest acessory. no i will not stop calling myself that. don’t sigh at me.”
• “it’s offensive to me that you haven’t groped my ass once while i’m wearing my new underwear, like why are we even married if you don’t take advantage of how good my ass looks???”
• “what do you mean i can’t keep buying you expensive things and calling them engagement presents??? yes i know we already got married, we can do it again!”
• “a fifth honeymoon is absolutely necessary. no, i can’t just call it a vacation. we are in LOVE yuuri.”
• “i will blow you in the shower if you wash the dishes for me. yes, again. i don’t like touching the dishes it’s greasy and disgusting”
• “i’m going to FIGHT the russian skating officials if i want to pair skate with my husband i will goddamned pair skate with my husband”
• “yes i know it’s three am, but you still like being married to me right? what do you mean that sounds like something you’d say?? do i not look happy? that’s it i’m going to *insert over the top romantic gesture here*”
• “listen if i want to make all my programs about my beautiful husband yuuri katsuki i will. im victor nikiforov, who’s going to stop me? god? i dont think so”
• “we should arrange a wedding for our gold medals”
• “i do what i want even if it’s a reckless stupid idea” *five minutes later* “nevermind yuuri says no”
• “sex tapes are only trashy if you’re not married, yuuri”