Tag: john mulaney

ser-aveline-vallen:

“I also think it’s weird in movies, when someone has amnesia, and they wake up in the hospital, a lot of times surrounded by friends and family, but when they open their eyes they go ‘WHO ARE YOU?!’ because that’s not how you act when you don’t recognize somebody. That’s very rude. It would be chaos out there if every time you saw someone you didn’t recognize you went ‘WHO ARE YOU?!’. I always try to be really polite in life, so if I had amnesia, you’d never know it! I’d wake up and they’d be like ‘Hi John, we’re so happy you’re awake’ and I’d just be like, ‘Oh, hey man… How’s it going? Oh hey dude, nice to see you again’ because that’s how you act when you can tell that someone recognizes you and you have no fucking clue who they are.”

— John Mulaney

kazoobard:

things we know about john mulaney based on his comedy specials

-may have killed princess diana

-once drank perfume

-has never been killed by hitmen

-thought he had shit into a doctor’s hand

-“and also with you!”

-pretends to eat dinner at 4:30 to trick his dog

-has a penis (allegedly, according to a baby)

-sometimes he will watch a movie on TV even though he already owns that movie on DVD

-has responsibilities (all these fuckin’ markers)

-told Bill Clinton that he can do whatever he wants forever

-went to college for the whole time

-doesn’t care for these new nazis

lizatonix:

bobertlutece:

this whole thing is way too good to be giffed you need to expirience it 

There are so many things that are TOP quality about this. The business with the mic rope. The bounding across the stage like an excited puppy or a newsie. The Voice™️ that is so synonymous with John, you know, the voice of a guy who sells ice cream at the soda fountain in the 50’s. The analogy itself.

It’s all so beautiful, such peak humor and content.

silvermarmoset:

the new batch of love for john mulaney here on tumblr has got me thinking how critical costume design is once again. john mulaney is a good comedian, but so much of his power comes from how his humor plays off how he’s dressed. we don’t expect a man dressed like a 1960s news announcer, all clean scrubbed and tight-wound professional, to describe in minute detail the visit where a doctor shoved a hand up his ass. imagine any iconic john mulaney set but given in jeans and a t-shirt, and is it as funny? i don’t think so. his humor spreads like wildfire on this website because the image of a man in a buttoned-up shirt and a tie and slicked back hair with fairly narrow lapels on his three-piece suit is fucking hysterical when paired with “years later I’d be in college about to go down on some
rockin’ twink and i’d be like what would leonard bernstein do”