The “I probably shouldn’t have clowns” Starter Pack

severalowls:

severalowls:

Clowns are creatures that need to clown. They were not meant to be
domesticated and profited from as pets. They are highly active creatures
that will self harm from stress in such confined spaces. Circus Clowns are
delightful to keep in groups, though they are fine on their own, but
every 1 clown adds 30 square feet to the space needed. They need multiple props and performance areas in order to replicate their natural environment. These are examples of proper Circus Clown or other basic clown enclosures.

image


Candee Fluff is a horrible brand of cotton candy,
I used to feed it to my
clowns and they would just throw it back up. The sugar is all unprocessed, when clowns need highly refined white sugar, just because
it’s cheaper. Which is something they don’t list on the packaging to fool clown owners. Ideally you should only feed your clown freshly whipped cotton candy. Large mixers may be expensive but a simple childrens make-your-own candy floss machine will suffice if your budget is tight.

Clowns shouldn’t be confined to a car. (Especially a childrens
car..?) Clowns are curious creatures that need to jump, tumble, honk and
play to be healthy. Keeping them locked in a car 24/7 as a toy for your
kids will stress them out in much the same way as a hamster in a ball. Clowns do enjoy having access to a clown car, especially in groups, but their car should provide 1 square foot per clown and their enjoyment comes primarily from exiting the vehicle in large numbers. Keeping them locked inside can reduce their lifespan by up to 10 years. A small human-sized compact car may be suitable for larger groups of clowns.

image

I’m cringing at that rainbow collection of “my mommy got me a cute clown” balloon sticks. These are creatures that need to run around with helium balloons. They need to bounce and float away when released. Air-filled balloons on sticks are not a suitable replacement. This is the proper set up for a clown or more modern jesters.

image

Clowns get stressed from any foot confinement under size 16. Clown shoes are the worst item for being sold to kids as “accessories” in human foot sizes. When kept like that the clown will die a horribly stressed
life within a year when they can live for 60 or more. They need colourful shoes or boots with plenty of toe-space and loud squeakers. Clowns are so intelligent that they
actually play with you, and they need podiatric stimulation to live
healthy. These are proper clown shoes.

image

Never change the natural markings of a clown. This should go without saying, but I see people buying halloween store ‘clown makeup’ and attempting to alter their clown’s faces. Clowns use their facial markings to identify one another, and altering it may cause stress, and even endager the clown if you keep several in the same tent.

Who the fuck would even feed an omnivorous clown pellet food…?
Do they want a sick clown? If clown stores even bothered to care about the
keeping of clowns, they would know that shit is bad for them. If
you can’t feed fresh peanuts and hot dogs then you shouldn’t own a clown in the first place. Pellet food isn’t even real food, it’s
chemically made with preservatives.

rolohaliiburton:

I don’t often see abuse posts about the opposite spectrum of post-abuse behavior, and it’s. Kind of a bummer bc those are still things people experience.

So shout out to :

people who feel like they have to aggressively defend the things that are important to them because they’re so used to it being torn down and taken from them – even if a friend was just kidding, it’s so hard to see it as just kidding.

People who are constantly on high alert for a fight and had to learn to treat everything like a debate because it was the only way they could stand up for themselves. People who have a hard time rationalizing not everything is an attack because everything used to be an attack.

People who are mad and furious over what happened and get completely consumed by rage no matter how hard they try to let it go. And who have to deal with people telling them they’re making it bigger than it was.

People who have to constantly front as being a badass or aloof because they can’t be seen as vulnerable in any way.

People who constantly fear they’re just like their abuser because they lash out at a moment’s notice to defend themselves

There’s a ton more things but I’m on my break and these are just things I experience that I know a lot more people relate to omg. It’s hard to unlearn aggressive means of self preservation and it hurts to hurt people after you’ve had to experience that hurt and it seems impossible to get over or unlearn those things but you’ll do alright it just needs time and patience and there’s nothing wrong with being angry.

beetledrink:

are you REALLY a tumblr user if you don’t see a post on your dash filled with misinformation presented in a hostile manner like youre the idiot for not knowing these 100% bullshit lies at least once a day and have to physically restrain yourself from starting shit with the OP