“hi, i’m yuuri’s husband, victor” instead of “hi, i’m victor nikiforov”
“you have to formally adopt makkachin now that we’re married”
“should we hyphenated makkachin’s last name so everyone knows he’s your son too when you pick him up from doggy day care”
“as your husband…” as an excuse to basically anything
“as your husband i have bought you an entire new wardrobe”
“as your husband and someone who cares deeply about your health i’m ritualistically burning this tie”
“as your husband i think i get a say on wether locker room sex should be a ‘no no’ or not”
“no i will not hurry up, beauty takes time, yuuri. i’m your prettiest acessory. no i will not stop calling myself that. don’t sigh at me.”
“it’s offensive to me that you haven’t groped my ass once while i’m wearing my new underwear, like why are we even married if you don’t take advantage of how good my ass looks???”
“what do you mean i can’t keep buying you expensive things and calling them engagement presents??? yes i know we already got married, we can do it again!”
“a fifth honeymoon is absolutely necessary. no, i can’t just call it a vacation. we are in LOVE yuuri.”
“i will blow you in the shower if you wash the dishes for me. yes, again. i don’t like touching the dishes it’s greasy and disgusting”
“i’m going to FIGHT the russian skating officials if i want to pair skate with my husband i will goddamned pair skate with my husband”
“yes i know it’s three am, but you still like being married to me right? what do you mean that sounds like something you’d say?? do i not look happy? that’s it i’m going to *insert over the top romantic gesture here*”
“listen if i want to make all my programs about my beautiful husband yuuri katsuki i will. im victor nikiforov, who’s going to stop me? god? i dont think so”
“we should arrange a wedding for our gold medals”
“i do what i want even if it’s a reckless stupid idea” *five minutes later* “nevermind yuuri says no”
“sex tapes are only trashy if you’re not married, yuuri”
oh my god sokka rly just accepts zuko as a friend right away? he immediately just starts roasting him with jerkbending and his little dragon dance bless
Sokka was 100% on board for the friendship, not because Zuko redeemed himself, but because Zuko was easy roast material
“I Can’t stand morons like you who can’t get to the damned point! Basically you’re saying, ‘we wanna cause trouble, be our pal!’ What a joke! I’ve always admired All Might’s triumphs. No matter what any of you jerks say… Nothing’s ever gonna change that!”
anyways today I had a customer come in for both breakfast and lunch and he was the most real life Ronan Lynch i have ever encountered
physical description: so large he had to stoop to walk through the door. built like a brick shithouse. wore a perfectly fitting shirt and slacks and shiny shoes. shaved head, big smile.
breakfast: ordered a meal but then added like 17 extras. drank nothing. stood at the bar for ten minutes just chillin, looking around and watching people and checking his phone. shotgunned a quadruple expresso while paying with his card and never asked for the bill.
lunch: said “hey it’s me again. can I just see the dessert menu”. ordered two brownies with extra icecream. double expresso. gave me shit for having Fleetwood Mac playing, said ABBA would have been “jauntier”. stood at the bar for ten more minutes. had a pint of beer while saying “this time it’s the companies card. pay your next months rent while you’re at it I don’t care.” left a twenty euro tip. he disappeared mere minutes later while my back was turned, taking his to-go mocha and my heart with him.
he came back a few weeks ago, and he didn’t sit in my section so I didn’t have any interactions with him, but the waitress that was serving him came over to me and said “hey. did you see table 12? he’s actually the king of all kings.” and honestly. mood.
bullshit central 