correspondingnerd:

brunhiddensmusings:

cameoamalthea:

brunhiddensmusings:

threeraccoonsinatrenchcoat:

badgerofshambles:

a singular scuit. just one. 

an edible cracker with just one side. mathematically impossible and yet here I am monching on it.

‘scuit’ comes from the french word for ‘bake’, ‘cuire’ as bastardized by adoption by the brittish and a few hundred years

‘biscuit’ meant ‘twice-baked’, originally meaning items like hardtack which were double baked to dry them as a preservative measure long before things like sugar and butter were introduced. if you see a historical doccument use the word ‘biscuit’ do not be fooled to think ‘being a pirate mustve been pretty cool, they ate nothing but cookies’ – they were made of misery to last long enough to be used in museum displays or as paving stones

‘triscuit’ is toasted after the normal biscuit process, thrice baked

thus the monoscuit is a cookie thats soft and chewy because it was only baked once, not twice

behold the monoscuit/scuit

Why is this called a biscuit:

when brittish colonists settled in the americas they no longer had to preserve biscuits for storage or sea voyages so instead baked them once and left them soft, often with buttermilk or whey to convert cheap staples/byproducts into filling items to bulk out the meal to make a small amount of greasy meat feed a whole family. considering hardtack biscuits were typically eaten by dipping them in grease or gravy untill they became soft enough to eat without breaking a tooth this was a pretty short leap of ‘just dont make them rock hard if im not baking for the army’ but didnt drop the name because its been used for centuries and people forgot its french for ‘twice baked’ back in the tudor era, biscuit was just a lump of cooked dough that wasnt leavened bread as far as they cared

thus the buttermilk biscuit and the hardtack biscuit existed at the same time. ‘cookies’ then came to america via german and dutch immigrants as tiny cakes made with butter, sugar/molasses, and eggs before ‘tea biscuits’ as england knew them due to the new availability of cheap sugar- which is why ‘biscuit’ and ‘cookie’ are separate items in america but the same item in the UK

the evolution of the biscuit has forks on its family tree

I love it when a shitpost turns into an actually interesting post.

Best Spongebob episodes

heavenbydjsammy:

hotsenator:

  • ripped pants
  • when spongebob has to sleep over under patricks rock and patrick beats spongebob like 50 times in his sleep
  • krusty krab pizza song/WE USED TO RIDE THESE BABIES FOR MILES
  • plankton turns spongebob into a robot and then he rebels
  • FIRMLY GRASP IT
  • i’m in the kitchen…at night/nosferatu 
  • “3 cheers for squidward! hip hip! boo.. hip hip! boo.. hip hip.. BOO YOU STINK”
  • Krusty Krab training video
  • The one where Sandy is into extreme sports and spongebob can’t keep up
  • WHEN THEY THINK THEY KILLED THE HEATH INSPECTOR HOLY SHIT
  • Sandy hibernates
  • Spongebob and patrick try to raise a baby clam 
  • spongebob and patrik paint the invisible boat mobile BLACK
  • onion breath/i’M UGLY..AND I’M PROUD
  • when spongebob and patrick pretend to be squiward when he’s trying to sell his house
  • When spongebob gets sick and patrick tries to cure him
  • WHAT I LEARNED FROM BOATING SCHOOL IS…..
  • CHOOOCCOLLATTEEEEE
  • Spongebob B.C.
  • When they are afraid to go on land but then they go on land and it turns into live action and spongebob is a kitchen sponge
  • SEA BEAR/CAMPFIRE SONG SONG
  • Magic Conch Shell
  • SOILED IT! SOILED IT! SOILED IT! SOILED IT!
  • Spongebob tries to get into the Salty Spitoon
  • FUUUUUTUUREEEE
  • talent show with squidwards interpretive dance
  • the dream episode where spongebob is squidwards clarinet and he goes LAAALAAAALALLALALALA ALAAALAAAAA
  • Kevin and the queen jellyfish
  • Fine dining and breathing
  • Flying Dutchman leedle leddle leedle lee

I literally recognised every single one what the fuck I hate myself