lollians:

jonphaedrus:

caymin-quinn:

jonphaedrus:

i need to take a canvas of texans. if youre texan please reblog this and add your favorite texas thing that is only funnier with the context of being texan. this one is mine. please. i need to know. cheese plates shaped like texas are also good. so is das barbecü. what else goes on this list.

I’ll see your Texas shaped cheese plates and raise you this Texas shaped cheese from the HEB, the Texas based grocery chain that is better than any other grocery chain

NOW THIS IS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT!!!!!!!

Ok. 

1. This.

2. That absurd Christmas ornament I mailed you some time ago that features a pair of cowboy boots and the cryptic slogan “COWBOYS BELIEVE.”

3. THis. Which I have seen, live, and which is exactly as much of a Yeehaw Fever Dream Experience™ as it looks like.

4. Texas Toast. The very concept of Texas Toast. The fact that we, as Texans, are so wrapped up in our own Texan Identity, that we require a special kind of Toast. Texas Toast. From Texas. Bigger and Better and Butterier than Any Other Kind of Toast. The Superior Toast. Texas Toast. Yeehaw.

5. While we are on the subject of items consumed at breakfast, Cowboy Coffee. 

If you are unfamiliar with the concept of Cowboy Coffee, allow me to explain. Cowboy Coffee is a term that refers to a method of preparing coffee in the way that the term “French Press Coffee” refers to coffee prepared using a French Press.

The way you prepare Cowboy Coffee is as follows:

Step 1: Grind your coffee beans.

Step 2: Put your coffee grounds into a coffee kettle. But not just any kind of coffee kettle. Specifically this kind of coffee kettle:

Step 3: Put water into your coffee kettle on top of the loose coffee grounds.

Step 4: Heat this entire trainwreck up over a campfire.

Step 5: Pour and serve. As is. With the coffee grounds just loose in the bitter, watery, overly extracted coffee. Drink your goddamn coffee grounds like a man. It builds character.