an adam parrish birthday ficlet; 2.5k, adam/ronan, fluff+friendship
(thanks to @theamagician for betaing – all remaining mistakes are mine!)‘Cause we’re the masters of our own fate
We’re the captains of our own souls
There’s no way for us to come away
‘Cause boy we’re gold, boy we’re gold
– “Lust for Life”, Lana del Rey
Adam Parrish hadn’t always disliked his birthday. Some of them hadn’t been terrible – not great, but he didn’t have much to compare them against – which meant he could vividly recognise just how bad the terrible ones had been.
When he was three, his grandmother came to visit for the first time. He remembered her only very vaguely, because his three-year-old self was much more impressed by the cake she had brought. It had blue icing on it, and tasted better than anything Adam had ever had, which wasn’t saying much.
When he was four, his grandmother came to visit for the second and last time. She only made it as far as the door of the double-wide before she ran into his father. Adam didn’t know, at the time, what “being drunk” meant, but he could remember the screaming and anger and the sound of a bottle thrown. After that, his grandmother stopped visiting. His mother was the only one who still got to speak to her, in hushed and resentful tones on the phone.
The only thing Adam had left of her were the five envelopes that she had sent between his fifth and tenth birthdays. There had been no card for his eleventh. Adam didn’t know why they stopped – if she’d died or just stopped bothering. He’d never dared ask his mother, for fear that it would be the latter. After a while, it hadn’t seemed to matter anymore.
like july forever
Published
bullshit central 